Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
