So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
