How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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