i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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