What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
