that's an acceptable place to lick
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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