oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
