i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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