just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
