I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
