You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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