I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
