its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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