Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
