ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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