all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
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