are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
