The maid of honor just puked.
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
