Small penises have feelings too.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
