To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
