so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I just forgot I was standing up.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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