he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
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