question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize