You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
you inspire me to be a worse person
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
