yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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