Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize
