I bet he comes in French.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
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