Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
