she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
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