so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
