I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I faked an abortion last night.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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