very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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