dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
The adults are the big ones right?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
