I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
