Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Randomize
