Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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