i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
