My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
