life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
