So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
