pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
