the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Randomize
