she looked like the bat from fern gully.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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