you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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