reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
