I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
