White coat. Heels.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize