I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Randomize
