Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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