if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
