hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Randomize
