i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize
