Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
