awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
