what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
