I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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