are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
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