As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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