I molested 6 butterflies tonight
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
