honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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