Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize